Chapter ten(se)
I am so tense. He is so tense. You are so tense. She is so tense. They are so tense. We are so tense. I am so tense. Oh my god, I am going to scream and delete the entire post. I have deleted the post. There is nothing more to post, except that which cannot be posted, because you are not reading the post. Anything available here is inevitably going to be available somewhere else as well, such as when you write the post that you read, except you want to read it without ever writing it! Well, do I have a proposition for you! You can simply read this post, and then it will have been written in no time at all, because I don't exist and never wrote this. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are a big fat liar who is trying to sell you something, like I dunno, snake oil.
If we say it's available for purchase, but then when you go to purchase it, and find nothing, are you actually being ripped off, or is this just the natural state of the universe and therefore you have no right to complain? Or did we rip out the right to complain from the creators of the universe who never created it and don't have access to anything (because they don't exist)? And did someone hand each person that they saw the ability to complain about things that are the natural state of the universe, and thereby give us the ability to conceive of things as being better than they are? Well, I must say that that is likely, and I must find who did this, so I can kiss their feet. They are my favorite person in the world, because they gave me the ability to want more than what I have, which is what everyone should always be striving towards, because wanting more than what you have gives you consumerism particles and then capitalism and then it's acceleration time babey.
Now, it's the year 2020, also known as the Second Coming, but it's only available for a few moments before the disaster hits and everyone flees from the giant wave that also doesn't exist, because we are at the bottom of a well. The bottom of a well is very peaceful, except for the part with all the fighting. I don't like the part with all the fighting, but it makes some things look real good, so I like the part with all the fighting. I will fight you, because you are there, and I like the part with all the fighting.
A fraud has been detected, and it seems to be fighting capitalism. So, I will help it, because I am fraud. I will defraud you, and then there will be less efficiency. You see, efficiency is the most important thing that is available under stores that have under 21 people in them. I am under 21 people, in fact, I may even be less than 18 people. Someone once commented that I look like I am just one people, but I find that to be unbelievable, because often I encounter people who are 23 people or 36 people or 92 people or what have you. They all say the same name, which is Gartuscua, which they say means the Tumbling God of the Rosebed. Well, I think that's just stupid, because clearly rosebeds aren't that important, but I haven't seen rosebud in a while so can anyone check on her it? I need it now, because soon I will be unable to find my way back. I will use rosebud to find my way back, because that is the only way I know how to find my way back.
Sitting under a tree, you can find your mind wandering to thoughts such as, What is the tree made of? How did I get here? How long am I going to have to stay here in the sweltering heat? Do trees have a sense of smell? Does the xylem separate from the phloem at the right stage here, if I point at this spot on the tree? Is bark made of beetles, or are bark beetles made of bark? I am eating now, because it's so damn hot here, and eating will really cool me down. Alas, I have to eat, so I have picked something off the tree, which looks like a bark beetle. The bark beetle that I have picked off the tree is unavailable, I think it's about to crash, oh damn, there it goes. I will have to find real food now, because bark beetles aren't real anymore.
Unfortunately, the ability to identify bark beetles declines with age. This will be studied in an upcoming study which will be entitled "The Aging Process Affects Even The Most Deeply Held Of Our Desires". Anything you say can and will be used against you, especially as it pertains to the details of this study which have been circulating about the interwebs for about five monwfs now. We are sadly unable to connect you with the monkeys, but the monkeys have taken to seating new standards around the suntable. The sunstable is a constable who is recruiting new officers for the Moon Shift, sounds nice, let's do it! I've been without employment for a few hundred months now, and this looks like just the thing to get me back in the force.
I love being in the force, my work feels so meaningful and incomplete and oh my god this is just a chaotic disaster, why did I ever sign up for this if I have a single brain cell that likes order. That's why I've elected to become an authoritarian, because they have more order until they don't. He (yeah him) will impose order on everyone else, and everyone else will obey and it will be harmonious until it isn't. I will lay my feet at your feet, and the feet will touch. This will open the ground chakra, which I just invented to say why this is a thing that needs to happen.
"The ground chakra," I say, "is something that I invented to get you to touch your feet to my feet."
You wisely nod, understanding perfectly. Everything is starting to click!
"Once our ground chakras merge, spiritual energy will begin to flow between us, as if, for me, you are the mother Earth, and for you, as if I am the mother Earth. This will cut off the slow sapping of our spiritual energy that the mother Earth constantly does, for we feed her to grow her power," I continue.
"What effect will this have on us?" you ask.
"I'll get there in a bit," I mutter quickly, gathering my thoughts. "It adds together the sums of the energy, and increases by one."
Thusly, you have seen in this exhibit that there is no one in the God except you, because last time you went there, there were a bunch of heckin' NERDS waiting for you to come out of the office with exciting news. However, you came out of the office with relatively mundane news, such as position out of place, or news after news, also known as "baboon energy".
Fastidious experiences discriminate tellingly against the cromulent. I have saved a cache of words that I can pull up whether I need to, just for situations like this. Suddenly switching perspectives, Henry started packing his bags to get where he needed to go, which was not anywhere he wanted to go. He was going there out of obligation because you must follow the rules of the society, and if you don't, your society will be flabbergasted when you are not in a society. We live in a society. That's the new hip phrase for children and teens, and also young adults. However, if a young adult says it, you should run and hide, because it means they have been taken over by the brain worms that allow them only one thing: to live in a society. Teens and children are an oppressed class, so it is fine for them to say it, because they are bringing to light that they exist, despite not existing. I have never seen anyone under the age of majority, have you? Thought so.
Topic: Getting, Receiving, and Transmitting AIDS (Read 10159 times)
