Author Topic: somthing... (Read 20147 times)

SuperNova · « **on:** December 12, 2009, 04:43:32 AM »

hey guys
i wanna tell you somthing...
i have Autism, PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise Specified)
i think in other ways then you all, i react other then you all and i think not the same as you guys
i know this for a long time, never told anybody online.
thats why i react strange or mean...

Bla · « **Reply #1 on:** December 12, 2009, 05:37:12 AM »

Since everyone are different, nothing should be strange. I couldn't see you had autism, you simply just looked very clever of your age.
It's nothing you've chosen yourself, so don't feel bad about it. It's something that deserves 100% respect from our side.

deoxy99 · « **Reply #2 on:** December 12, 2009, 10:14:34 AM »

Why the title "Something..."?

I was actually waiting for a forum game to appear, or even a scary story about the universe.

Bla · « **Reply #3 on:** December 12, 2009, 02:29:00 PM »

Deoxy99, if you think we need any forum game, you're welcome to make one.

But sometimes it can probably be hard to find the right subject for a topic.

FGFG · « **Reply #4 on:** December 12, 2009, 06:04:49 PM »

Don't be sad because people could think you are different; just ignore who cannot understand your situation.

If it make you feel better I want to say to you that I'm quite in the same situation: well, I'm gay. I didn't tell this to many people except with some close friends (but I will tell this to everyone soon). There are many many people in the world (and maybe in this same forum) that cannot understand these differences (I want to remember to everyone that they aren't choices!). We are this way since our birth and we cannot make anything to change it.

Try to make these people understand what it means and if they doesn't make it, just ignore them: after all people like this aren't a bad loss.

deoxy99 · « **Reply #5 on:** December 12, 2009, 07:11:46 PM »

Quote from: Bla on December 12, 2009, 02:29:00 PM

Deoxy99, if you think we need any forum game, you're welcome to make one.
But sometimes it can probably be hard to find the right subject for a topic.

Why do you sometimes use two sentences to get your point across?

SuperNova · « **Reply #6 on:** December 13, 2009, 02:19:30 AM »

Quote from: FGFG on December 12, 2009, 06:04:49 PM

Don't be sad because people could think you are different; just ignore who cannot understand your situation.

If it make you feel better I want to say to you that I'm quite in the same situation: well, I'm gay. I didn't tell this to many people except with some close friends (but I will tell this to everyone soon). There are many many people in the world (and maybe in this same forum) that cannot understand these differences (I want to remember to everyone that they aren't choices!). We are this way since our birth and we cannot make anything to change it.

Try to make these people understand what it means and if they doesn't make it, just ignore them: after all people like this aren't a bad loss.

thanks for telling that

and i'm not gonna act different to you because i know this now, your still the FGFG i know

Bla · « **Reply #7 on:** December 13, 2009, 03:08:48 AM »

I'm a little bit surprised to read that, because I'm also gay.

I came out to my parents last Thursday, where I ran away from home. But they took it very kindly, and I think you will feel much better when you've also done it, even though it's extremely hard in the start when you speak with them, and especially when they look at you. I couldn't speak the night they found me and the following morning, they said I was very far away in my mind. But I'm sure they will understand your situation. We need to show people that we are normal human beings, that's the only way to make them accept us.
Of course, I don't know how religious your parents are, but since Europe has lost much of it's religiosity, it has also lost a big part of it's homophobia. It is still a very big problem though.

I hope people will see differences as a strength.

SuperNova · « **Reply #8 on:** December 13, 2009, 03:45:17 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 03:08:48 AM

I'm a little bit surprised to read that, because I'm also gay.
I came out to my parents last Thursday, where I ran away from home. But they took it very kindly, and I think you will feel much better when you've also done it, even though it's extremely hard in the start when you speak with them, and especially when they look at you. I couldn't speak the night they found me and the following morning, they said I was very far away in my mind. But I'm sure they will understand your situation. We need to show people that we are normal human beings, that's the only way to make them accept us.
Of course, I don't know how religious your parents are, but since Europe has lost much of it's religiosity, it has also lost a big part of it's homophobia. It is still a very big problem though.

I hope people will see differences as a strength.

again, i will not think strange about you, you stay the Bla we all know

Bla · « **Reply #9 on:** December 13, 2009, 03:56:51 AM »

Thanks a lot.

Wait, also, I think Einstein His Greatness had Aspergers (mild Autism), didn't he?
Many clever people do/did.

FGFG · « **Reply #10 on:** December 13, 2009, 05:24:43 AM »

Bla, I'm so happy to know I'm not alone here

However I live in small city (50000 inhabitants): I don't know where do you live, but I don't know anyone gay here... If the 5% valuation is correct we should be 2500, but nobody says anything. I'm looking forward going to university....

Bla · « **Reply #11 on:** December 13, 2009, 05:59:08 AM »

I think it's very hard to determine the amount of people who are, since so many will hide it. Statistics say 2-5% from what I've heard.
I live in an even smaller town with only 23.000 inhabitants, and I've never known anyone else who is gay. I've kept distance to other people for years and for more than half a year I've forbidden myself to talk with/look at other boys at my age, so obviously I don't know much about them.
But it is very special to meet someone else who is and probably has tried the same situations as me.

SuperNova, sorry for going a little bit off-topic, we can make another topic for this discussion if you want?

FGFG · « **Reply #12 on:** December 13, 2009, 08:28:28 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 05:59:08 AM

I've kept distance to other people for years and for more than half a year I've forbidden myself to talk with/look at other boys at my age, so obviously I don't know much about them.

You shouldn't do it if are still doing it. If you talk to other guys without saying nothing you can make friendships, then, when you understand how they think about certain topics you could speak. Maybe you could be worried about how they could react if they discover you're "on the other side" but if they are real friends they should understand that you're the same as before (as I've already said to SuperNova, if they don't understand you, it's not a bad loss...). Moreover if you tell this to everybody you could push other guys to talk

and maybe you could discover that 1 or 2 of your mates are like you... and, even if it didn't happened to me, it's one of the best things for us.

Bla · « **Reply #13 on:** December 13, 2009, 08:43:37 AM »

It feels too immoral of me to have any contact with them without they know that I'm gay. I'm not afraid of how they will react to me or how they will treat me, but it's very hard to say (I simply hate using any word related to 'gay'), plus, I've shown my interests, opinions and lack of beliefs earlier. I'm afraid they will hate everything I like, mean or think. Science is so important for us and I don't want anyone to think it's "gay" or something like that...
Also, if I talk with them etc., they would perhaps also hate gays even more afterwards. I want to be 100% certain that I don't do anything that could cause more hate to gays. I wish the best for everyone, and I want to be a good person who will cause other people to think better about us.

deoxy99 · « **Reply #14 on:** December 13, 2009, 09:26:28 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 03:56:51 AM

Thanks a lot.

Wait, also, I think Einstein His Greatness had Aspergers (mild Autism), didn't he?
Many clever people do/did.

Einstein didn't have Autism or ADD. He just didn't like the school he was at.

FGFG · « **Reply #15 on:** December 13, 2009, 09:27:54 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 08:43:37 AM

It feels too immoral of me to have any contact with them without they know that I'm gay. I'm not afraid of how they will react to me or how they will treat me, but it's very hard to say (I simply hate using any word related to 'gay'), plus, I've shown my interests, opinions and beliefs earlier. I'm afraid they will hate everything I like, mean or think. Science is so important for us and I don't want anyone to think it's "gay" or something like that...
Also, if I talk with them etc., they would perhaps also hate gays even more afterwards. I want to be 100% certain that I don't do anything that could cause more hate to gays. I wish the best for everyone, and I want to be a good person who will cause other people to think better about us.

Well, it's a good pourpose, but you are you, and nobody can change it, neither yourself. What's wrong is not our behaviour, but how they react to us. They have to change, not us. Unless we doesn't hurt anyone, we are free to do whatever we want.

Loving someone of the same sex doesn't hurt anyone.

If you love someone or something why you cannot do it the way you like most?? Just because someone doesn't like it? That's not a sufficient reason.

A good parallel I usually do is racism:
You don't have to paint your skin white, or leave your seat in a bus to a white person to be liked by everybody or to make blacks more loved..

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 08:43:37 AM

but it's very hard to say

I know it

, but for other reasons, 'cos...

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 08:43:37 AM

(I simply hate using any word related to 'gay')

Trust me, don't. It is just like hating yourself...

Bla · « **Reply #16 on:** December 13, 2009, 09:59:56 AM »

That's true, replacing gays with blacks etc. is a good way of detecting what's right/wrong, and for seeing what would be accepted by other people.
But right now the most important thing to me is just to get the homophobia reduced and to make people stop hating us. Perhaps it's also best not to think too much about love, it shouldn't take up too much brain capacity which could be spent on Science.

FGFG · « **Reply #17 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:06:02 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 09:59:56 AM

But right now the most important thing to me is just to get the homophobia reduced and to make people stop hating us.

I know what you mean, but again, you are changing your behaviour to be more accepted by people who doesn't like you.

Is it right trowing out from a disco an etero couple because they kiss? No
Is it tight trowing out from a disco a gay couple because they kiss? According to many people, yes.

The second answer should change. You want the gay couple not doing anything at all, so that nobody could throw them out.

Bla · « **Reply #18 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:12:26 AM »

Hmm, I have no problem with other gays doing anything they want (when they don't harm people, ofc). I just want to do something good for the rest of the gays by "tolerating" the homophobia - perhaps they will find out how absurd it is in the end by themselves?
I will come out to my school soon, if I get the chance. My plan was Monday, but my parents have no understanding of how long time I've considered, planned and decided it, and say I should "spend some time considering it". Lately they changed their mind back to "it's completely up to myself", but I'm just afraid that they can't see it's a serious problem if I come out myself.

FGFG · « **Reply #19 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:23:03 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 10:12:26 AM

I just want to do something good for the rest of the gays by "tolerating" the homophobia

I do not agree, but you're free to do what you want

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 10:12:26 AM

perhaps they will find out how absurd it is in the end by themselves?

I don't think so... Black had to fight for a more obvious reason. Moreover we have Church against us...

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 10:12:26 AM

I will come out to my school soon, if I get the chance. My plan was Monday, but my parents have no understanding of how long time I've considered, planned and decided it, and say I should "spend some time considering it". Lately they changed their mind back to "it's completely up to myself", but I'm just afraid that they can't see it's a serious problem if I come out myself.

Well I didn't come out with my parents yet. I find it terribly difficult...
So I can't help you here..

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 10:12:26 AM

it's a serious problem if I come out myself

I didn't get your point...

deoxy99 · « **Reply #20 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:28:18 AM »

I call this thread era, Supertalking Era.

FGFG · « **Reply #21 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:29:33 AM »

SuperNova · « **Reply #22 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:38:34 AM »

woah!!
i don't wanna be rude, but lets keep it on-topic $:-\$

Bla · « **Reply #23 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:39:13 AM »

Sorry SuperNova.

I'll make a new topic, let's see if I can find a good name for it.
Done.

SuperNova · « **Reply #24 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:42:51 AM »

Quote from: deoxy99 on December 13, 2009, 10:28:18 AM

I call this thread era, Supertalking Era.

this is no Era

Bla · « **Reply #25 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:49:46 AM »

But SuperNova, you said you had Autism. I don't know a lot about Autism, only some basic stuff ofc, but isn't there a milder version called Aspergers? I would guess you had that one, or that PDD was a part of that, since you mostly just seem to be a very clever person, but you still can communicate with others. When I hear about Autism, the ones who have it can't speak, but are for example extremely good at drawing or can immediately tell how many dots there are on a wall with thousands of dots, etc.

SuperNova · « **Reply #26 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:52:34 AM »

Quote from: Bla on December 13, 2009, 10:49:46 AM

But SuperNova, you said you had Autism. I don't know a lot about Autism, only some basic stuff ofc, but isn't there a milder version called Aspergers? I would guess you had that one, or that PDD was a part of that, since you mostly just seem to be a very clever person, but you still can communicate with others. When I hear about Autism, the ones who have it can't speak, but are for example extremely good at drawing or can immediately tell how many dots there are on a wall with thousands of dots, etc.

i don't have Aspergers but it exists
i can react and see things different then you guys
i am realy good at some things, and some realy bad.

Bla · « **Reply #27 on:** December 13, 2009, 10:54:53 AM »

Can you do the dot-thing?

If you can, you should be very proud, that would be extremely cool.

Also, you're extremely good at programming I guess, with War Planet.