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Author Topic: NationStates  (Read 490770 times)

Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #270 on: February 08, 2012, 10:03:44 AM »
I've had some issues with the pages sometimes failing to load today. ^

atomic7732

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #271 on: February 08, 2012, 02:50:35 PM »
It's now down for maintenance.

smjjames

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #272 on: February 09, 2012, 05:41:43 PM »
4 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blaist Blaland, major cities are suffering under water rationing.

Ouch, did you get hit by a drought?

Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #273 on: February 09, 2012, 11:10:52 PM »
Yes. :/

FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #274 on: February 10, 2012, 08:16:35 AM »

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FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #275 on: February 10, 2012, 04:56:10 PM »

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Darvince

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #276 on: February 11, 2012, 11:22:31 AM »
A coalition of tribalists, health experts, and civil rights proponents have recently suggested legalizing cannibalism for consumers of willing would-be meals.

The Debate

"I see absolutely no problem with people digging into each other at dinnertime, so long as everyone is willing," Jamil de Groot, the editor of the monthly magazine 'To Serve Man', quips, "Not only does it solve hunger problems and create jobs, but it also adds variety to Darvincia's sometimes dull palette."


Civil rights leader Konrad Brown came out publicly for moderate pro-cannibalism legislation, commenting, "While it may strike some as a crude, even evil practice, our ancestors have practiced cannibalism for years. If we create a government organization to strictly regulate and grade all human meat prior to its arrival on the market, we can ensure that respect for diversity is maintained while health concerns are also allayed. And instead of killing average people, why not make being turned into snack foods a post-mortem option? Like donating your body to science!"


"You're all absolutely out of your minds!" exclaims Klaus Strange, head of Darvincia's largest health-food manufacturer. "It's immoral, it's unhealthy, and it's disgusting. Not only are these so-called 'dietary rights' activists leading us down a dark path of sin, but right into a marketplace with yet another product that's almost as bad as beef!"

FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #277 on: February 11, 2012, 11:50:19 AM »

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smjjames

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #278 on: February 11, 2012, 12:10:01 PM »
Yours have? What about mine? lol. Also it changed to Liberal Democratic Socialists.

67 minutes ago: Following new legislation in Kaeshar, citizens recently voted in favour of declaring bubblewrap an 'abomination of nature'

Oh yea, I just noticed that Accidents (which took the place of 'acts of god' I guess and Bungee Jumping appeared in the leading cause of deaths.

Economy is still shitty though.

Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #279 on: February 15, 2012, 04:14:02 AM »
The Issue

A coup in a neighbouring country has seen a mercenary force led by retired Blaist Blalandian general Freddy Cohen take charge of the peaceful backwater, purging the opposition, and suppressing freedoms. Despite the new leader making a dubious promise to hold elections, the government in exile is demanding that Blaist Blaland takes action.

The Debate

1: "THIS IS A DISGRACE", bellows Brigadier General Roxanne Nagasawa, scattering plastic soldiers over the floor. "This traitor must be overthrown! Gather together our forces and sweep the tyrant from power. While we're at it, Blaist Blaland could do with some more tanks - you never know when the next coup might be." (kolz)

2: Ali Summers, a junior official, puts down "Diplomacy for Dummies" and pipes up. "The best method of solving problems is talking. Send the new regime a strongly worded letter of protest and encourage them to negotiate. On a similar note, perhaps you could take your spouse out for a meal tonight. You've been spending far too much time sorting out this nation's issues lately."

3: Noted realist and tabloid columnist Al Obama disagrees. "We should give this new regime a chance. After all, they now control a sizeable economy, and they need weapons - we could offer to recognise the new government if they agreed to buy arms from us. Also, I couldn't help but notice some protesters outside your office. We wouldn't want a coup happening here - everyone would feel safer if they were moved on."

4: "I don't see what the problem is", a voice strangely like your own whispers in your ear. Your twin, standing far too close for comfort, continues, "this has given me a great idea - why not just declare yourself supreme leader of Blaist Blaland? After all, the people do love you so very much."

AHHHH more fascist brothers!! Kol.

Also, my economy just imploded after I banned telephone advertising for the third time and banned political parties from receiving private donations and advertising the second or third time. Kol. Oh well, if those are the only things which make up my economy, maybe it doesn't matter that much anyway. :)

Also, oh kol.

And I've almost gotten rid of capitalism. >:D
« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 04:22:22 AM by Bla »

FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #280 on: February 16, 2012, 11:17:17 AM »

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FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #281 on: February 16, 2012, 11:22:09 AM »

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Darvince

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #282 on: February 20, 2012, 11:23:10 AM »
Kolwut.

Circus Clowns Cause Chaos!

The Issue

Rather than finding them funny, a recent survey shows that most children are actually afraid of clowns. The public is demanding that you do something to stop these terrifying menaces.

The Debate

"Kill them! Kill them all! Or… you know, just ban them", opines noted sociologist Efthamia Singh. "Better yet, why not ban all circuses from Darvincia! Think about it, they're distracting children from what's important in life; namely, doing well in school, getting a job and contributing to the economy. That's what's important here!"


"Banning clowns is a little extreme, if you ask me", inputs your Minister for Culture, Johann Frederickson. "I think what we need to do is educate children about what clowns actually do. Tell them they aren't scary and that what they do is actually beneficial! After all, happy kids are less likely to go down the path of crime, which means less spending goes to the police and more funds can be diverted to somewhere important – like my Department!"


"It's not always about the kids", mumbles a red-nosed man in the corner. "Think of us clowns! We have to put up with the kids screaming, and shouting and hurling things at us. How would you feel if you were dressed up like a fool and paraded in front of 8 year olds! The Government needs to create a program to treat us clowns for depression – you don't know what it's like, man. You weren't there!"

smjjames

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #283 on: February 22, 2012, 08:11:34 AM »
Look at the last one, lolz!

I went for the third option though.

The Issue

A top fertility clinic has recently announced a new service allowing parents to create so-called 'designer babies'.
The Debate

    "Embryo selection isn't really genetic engineering in the technical sense," explains Dr. Hack Hernandez, owner of the Babies-2-Go Clinic. "It's more like being able to have a dozen abortions per month until you get the foetus you desire. I can't really see what's wrong with parents who can afford it being able to eliminate foetuses with undesirable genetic traits - like stupidity."


    "Thou shalt pay for thy sins!" screams Zeke Chandra, waving a crucifix. "This is just meddling with the sanctity of life. If these children are to be born with horrible defects then it's God's will and who are we to question it? This technology must be banned at once!"


    "This technology shows promise," muses Thomas Yeats, minister of health. "But we can't trust the private sector with the future of our nation's children. We must place it under strict government regulation, so that we only screen out embryos with serious genetic conditions."


    "This has got me thinkin'," says General Hillary Clinton, thumbing through a big folder marked 'X'. "If this technology lets us reduce genetic defects, then couldn't it work the other way? We could create ourselves an army of genetically superior soldiers! With our army of Super Soldiers, no nation would dare stand in our way!"

FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #284 on: February 23, 2012, 04:53:46 AM »

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Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #285 on: February 23, 2012, 06:32:57 AM »
Oh kol, I think this is the funniest issue yet.

The Issue

A man by the name of &%*\@# Smith hit the headlines yesterday when he had his first name legally changed to 'John', citing the ridicule and stress he suffered because of his given name. Mr Smith publicly commented afterwards that there should be more restrictions on what parents can name their children.

The Debate

Option 1:
"People do so love to be different," says Insert Name Here, with a heavy sigh. "I don't know what my folks were thinking when they named me. Probably about how 'novel' and 'with it' they were being, but I didn't get a say in it did I? Growing up in my neighbourhood with the first name 'Insert' wasn't fun at all I can tell you! The government should set up a registry of recognised names that are clean, sensible, and non-teasable. Kids deserve better."

Option 2:
"It's none of the government's business what I name my daughter," says Follicle Rainbow Gooseknob, cradling [expletive deleted] in her arms. "Are you going to tell us what to think next? Where to go? Who to love? I don't want some grey-faced bureaucrat deciding what name is appropriate for my child! What kind of country hates personal freedom so much you can't even choose your own name?"

Option 3:
"Names? Names are so inefficient!" Says Five-Oh-Three McGoohan, counting beads. "Who can honestly tell one Tobias Laine from another? That name's so popular now, I met three people at the mall with it just last week! Face it! Names are old-hat! Everyone ought to go by a government-allocated ID number instead, much more practical. Who could make fun of a child named Six-Eight-Four?"

vh

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #286 on: February 23, 2012, 01:59:49 PM »
kol i've gotten that. i picked option 3

Darvince

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #287 on: February 23, 2012, 04:12:55 PM »
Better solution: Abolish compulsory jailtime traditional schools.

Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #288 on: February 24, 2012, 05:11:21 AM »
Interesting...

Banning drugs makes my civil rights drop by 4, while banning torture makes it increase by 2...

atomic7732

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #289 on: February 24, 2012, 06:35:55 AM »
Naru, mind posting that map of NP, NU, and ND?


Quote
The Honorable Mia Future, Minister of Minding Other People's Business
« Last Edit: February 25, 2012, 01:27:56 AM by atomic7732 »

Bla

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #290 on: February 25, 2012, 03:15:51 AM »
Kol.

MOOHAHAH OUR EKONOMY HAS DEPLODED. >:D

Let's see how long it lasts. :-[

Also, more kolz.

The Issue

Blaist Blaland's fire protection department has long been criticised for being slow, inefficient, and underfunded. A number of ideas have been proposed on how to deal with the problem.

The Debate

1: "See here, buddy," says Ali Nguyen, putting a friendly arm around your shoulder. "Your country needs fire protection, but you don't want to pay for it yourself. What do you say me and some of the boys here open up a few fire stations of our own and let the custome- citizens pay US instead of YOU paying THEM. It's not like we won't put out the fires if they don't have anything on them, we'll just bill them and their children and their children's children until we get all our money."

2: "Woah, woah, woah!" Says liberal activist, Steffan Song. "I don't want my rescuers to be putting less effort into their jobs because I don't have a credit card or live in a slum. Do you know when you're at your worst, financially? WHEN YOUR HOUSE JUST BURNT DOWN. This is a victimisation of the poor! The government should be in charge of the emergency services and they should treat everyone equally. It's only fair."

3: "Not only that, but we need to prevent fires from happening in the first place," says Freddy Cohen, your Minister of Safety, carefully turning off the wall sockets in your office. "And if that means sending free smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, and informative pamphlets to every household in Blaist Blaland so be it! Damn the expenses, Leader, lives are at stake!"

4: "I think that sounds kinda... socialist," says Gregory Harishchandra with a disgusted grimace. "The government should keep out of this if you ask me. The only reason fires happen is because people are stupid and they know a fire engine will come racing down the street to save them. Take away that safety blanket and I think you'll find they wise up quite quickly! We don't need any tax-consuming fire service! If idiots and their families go up in flames they'll have no one to blame but themselves."

FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #291 on: February 25, 2012, 06:50:10 AM »

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atomic7732

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #292 on: February 25, 2012, 11:31:44 AM »
Quote
screams Chastity Glory, head of the nation's most important civil liberties movement, People for the Ethical Treatment of Everything


vh

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #294 on: February 26, 2012, 03:33:25 PM »
my list of nations
actually instead of listing 30 nations i'll give you my list of regions

http://www.nationstates.net/region=kallisto


FiahOwl

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #296 on: February 26, 2012, 06:25:49 PM »

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vh

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #297 on: February 26, 2012, 06:28:01 PM »
looks more like 1 nation

Darvince

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #298 on: February 26, 2012, 06:39:01 PM »
kol i only have two nations

vh

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Re: NationStates
« Reply #299 on: February 26, 2012, 07:07:46 PM »
REFUGEE'S IN MY COUNTRY!??!?!?!
SHOOT THEM ALL.