Here's my article at the bottom. If it's too hard to read, here's the text:
Heavy Debate Over the Mass Extinction
Many New Methods Have Lead Scientists to Many Different Conclusions
Scientists thought they could relax after last week's heavy debate over whether there was a teapot orbiting Mars or not. At least those who agreed with the winning conclusion that there was; those who claimed there wasn't, also known as the ateapotists, were unable to disprove it in the end.
But now a new debate has seperated the scientists, about what caused the mass-extinction of the dinosaurs 65 million years ago.
Earlier, many scientists had come to an agreement about it, after it had been published that the iridium layer at K/T boundary and potassium dated crater in Yucatan indicated that an asteroid killed the dinosaurs.
However, in a recently published scientific paper, it was documented how it had been privately revealed to Professor Kurd Howind, that a comet in fact killed the dinosaurs.
But he quickly came under heavy fire for questioning the fact that many other scientists had happened to be brought up to have total and unquestioning faith in, that it actually was a volcano that changed the climate to make them go extinct.
As if that wasn't enough, Prof Cawhins has just propagated an official dogma, binding on all loyal Cawhinsians, that it was a virus plague that killed the dinosaurs.
Professor Hatchens, who won a case about how his personal and scientific freedom was discriminated against by not allowing him to discriminate against or cause harm to sodo-termites last month, has a rather different view however: "These strident and shrill denials... They should listen to the truth; the eggs of the dinosaurs were eaten. Don't let the other so called "scientists" fool you with their secret tooth-fairy agenda." He also states that he derives deep personal comfort from the fact, and is trying to collect signatures for his new petition, forbidding the discriminating scientists to post pictures that could humiliate his comforting thoughts in an anti-eggfunmy law.
But according to the president of the Natural Academy of Sciences, he won't have those comforting beliefs much longer. He has officially issued a flatwa on all scientists opposing his studies, that earthquakes killed the dinosaurs, which is the painful death of being made flat sometimes issued by radical earthquakinsians.
The following map shows the geographical distribution of scientists accepting the different studies: