0 years
yayayaayya im a cell with eyes and a mouth that slithered out of a meater LOL
100 million years
im a BGIIGIIGIG cell with cicilia and nighty spikes and poison and thre mouihs ehhe
1.2 billion years
now im on da lend with 2 legx and some othr cell stuff kol
1.9 billion years
iz been mkin friends and killin stuff to mak me smter. it iz ging prttty well so far
...
oah fazk 2 epiocs GOTTA GO TO da NEZSt
2.3 billion years
so im smarter now and so r me friends. we made thes big thingz outta wood and stewas adn stuff. an we gots dez pointy things.
im hungry. gonna go hunt noaw bye xxxooo
2.37 billion years
so for a while we dod some stuff. like these brown guyz we met are cool so we r noaw friends. they r nice cuz they send us backets wit fod and stuff. dez pink duds tho. they SUCK. they kep takin our food. also animals hz nbeen takkin our feed so thats a promblem to.
wepl gotta goa with the guyz and to take some music makrs and stop those pink guus from raiding ous. wish us lock.
2.39 billion years
we has some pretty cool outfits now. with masks and stuffs. we also had to kill thos green guys. i feel kinda bad about it tho. but they made us. anyway, we got together and killed an epic and guts lots of food s for us! it is great.
2.47 billion years
Ok so we built this very big thing. like a camp, but WAY bigger with lots of people. We also made this fast thing made outta medal that gos around and gets us spice for us. kol.
2.47.340 years
we met these guys that look like out across the ocean. they like blue for some reason. and they also worship something.
2.47.705 years
We made this thing that goes around in da air and can even go round de entire WORLD! it is awsom.
wait those angry red goes brought there big "tank" things and r attacking. gotts go.
2.47.990 years
So we united everybody in the world. Now wes gonna go to space. I madr this big saucer thing that is really really fast. k gotta go t space and stuff. Bye!
Some time later... (like 6 days)
WE ARE THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE LLOLOOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL