A Poem

[atomic7732]

100 degrees Celcius
the lion roars
A rush of water
swelling over the land
vaporization
steam emanating from the cone
of the geyser
as well as the water
and the plants in the way dieing
burnt
jetting water
over 50 feet into the air
the boiling rain subsides
wait over 2 hours
another 3 minutes
of nature

Not copyright Neutronstar 2011

Dun steel meh stuffz.

Especially my last 3 lines. Most epic stuffz evar.

[deoxy99]

I don't hear any rhythm, and it is just boring. Sorry for the "unconstructive criticism."

Constructive Criticism:

Also, the word "Celcius" is spelled "Celsius".

A tip is to make the lines "Steam emanating from the cone /n of the geyser" to "Steam emanating from the cone of the geyser" or "Steam emanating /n from the cone of the geyser."

And change "of nature" to "for another grand explosion".

[atomic7732]

i printed it out already, and anyway...

Free verse poetry can have odd rhythms, and I was kind of doing that to make it suspenseful.

About changing "of nature"...  I was using symbolism to say basically that "You haven't seen anything of nature, until you've seen a geyser eruption" in two words.

Here's a breakdown. No one asked for one, I just felt like making one...

100 degrees Celcius

Simple, the temperature.

the lion roars

Metaphor geyser = lion

A rush of water
swelling over the land
vaporization
steam emanating from the cone
of the geyser
as well as the water
and the plants in the way dieing
burnt
jetting water
over 50 feet into the air

A nice description.

the boiling rain subsides

metaphorish, the "rain" is just water falling.

wait over 2 hours
another 3 minutes

Eruption interval and eruption length respectively.

of nature

Again, I was using symbolism to say basically that "You haven't seen anything of nature, until you've seen a geyser eruption" in two words.