Today, I have decided that I will no longer allow school to be a detriment to my life and what I want to accomplish because up until now I have seen it as something completely useless and structured utterly incorrect for me, but if I am to accomplish what I want to in life, I will have to use it. I knew I would have had to survive it, but my outlook today is different. I will use it. Use it to my advantage. Use it as a tool to get me where I want to be. Where that is, I don't really know yet, but I know it'll have something to do with science, there's so many choices, and I'd prefer it involve Sweden, cyclones, or Yellowstone. I don't know... maybe space... In Sweden space would be a good choice, though I could still do chemistry, or geology, or many other things... but for cyclones or Yellowstone I'd have to stay back here in the US... ummm... well... tough choices. Also I don't know where I will get my education to do this stuff after high school... Do I stay here and go to a college/university I don't know a lot about it here OR in Sweden. I should probably start looking in to that soon, but it's still a little early.
Anyways, I'm done being a square with apothem a trying to fit in a circle with radius r when r = a. I will make that hole a square.
I previously had my foreign language for high school being Spanish, but I don't really want to learn spanish, besides it won't really be very useful when I would really like to go to Sweden and it would probably be really useful to learn Swedish which is a really cool language even from what little I know of it. I don't even know why but I was told I need 2 foreign language credits for something. Some classification that universities look more for at when you graduate high school. So maybe I'll look into getting some class, from somewhere, maybe online, where I can learn Swedish and make sure I can get valid credits or something.
Also supposedly I need to do some community service/volunteer thing like National Honor Society but I was in National Junior Honor Society and it was really lame. My parents told me that I might have to go work at some soup kitchen or look for some other way to do community service or volunteer somewhere and I happened to stumble upon volunteer opportunities form the National Park Service... yes... I think you know where I might be going with this.
The only downside to this... which I'm quite afraid of happening... Is that these things won't count... and that I'll have to go back to the way that I will have to do specific things that really won't benefit me... just benefit how I look for colleges and stuff.
Excuse my rambling. It's really bad rambling. I was really hoping it'd flow better and I tried to make it kind of humorous but I guess I don't care enough to edit and fix it. I don't really know what I'm accomplishing in posting this... Maybe just the fact that I typed it out? No... cause then why am I posting it on a forum. Well I'm sure I'll probably regret posting this tomorrow or sometime later and edit things out or something. People will probably see this and react really... or no, not even react at all. They won't even bother with anything I posted and it'll make me feel really... disgusted that I even posted anything. That looks like something I'll probably edit out. I'll try not to. I really just want this to be a stream of... something. I don't even know. I feel like I'm over reacting or something. Or...
I feel like the further I go onto explain things the more I want to just get rid of this whole post and just... gah. I don't even know. I'm done. I just. Well.
*I guess I've just wanted to tell someone this because. I don't know. I never know. I don't even know what I wanted to tell you. This was supposed to be a more of a personal declaration and now I'm just rambling about something that I don't know what I'm rambling about and this post just gets worse and worse. Guys, explanation is bad. Wow I can just imagine how stupid anyone reading this probably thinks this is. And saying that just makes me feel more stupid for saying it. It doesn't ever end. And then that sentence feels like I'm overwhelmed with this and it's like fdsagueafjdi cause I actually am but it doesn't seem like something to be overwhelmed about and then the cycle starts over again, but I guess I've already stated that fifty times now or have I just thought that because I keep thinking about it gahfdsakjfdsk.
I'm done. No. Just stop.
I'm gonna go eat something now. Maybe go to sleep and come back to delete this when I wake up. idk. I don't expect any serious replies.
Please see the paragraph starting with the asterisk to see how this continues.
I feel so bad because I get... emotional? over the most pointless trivial things and people have actual real problems. And I know it really doesn't make sense to compare your life with others but... yeah... I... ip[oidfj
I don't know anymore.