17363
Do you even? i mean really. You still haven't named your tenth granfather and accepted Omnitae as god and gracious provider of unlimited Oreo bites. Well, in that case, you don't, and thus you shalln't doeth. Unless you can name your fiftieth grandfather, then you are going straight to the popcorn mines, and then you truly won't die. Even if you did die, you would just be resurrected, and then vored, as supreme unpunishment for the cardinal sin of existence. And then, you shall see, the error of your eyes, because didn't see. That's why you need to go to the doctor and get your tongue checked for excess cells. If you fail this, then naming all your grandathers, will not be truly transcendental, and in that case, as such, you will be comitted to an insane asylum upon reading this message. However, it does not end there.
Where it does end, however, is the inevitable Great Voring of All, in the year 5,306. If you do not comply to these terms, you will be pleaded with, and then you will be forced to accept it anyway. Upon your arrival at this asylum, you will be given intense electroshock therapy, and a lobotomy, that will replace your eyes with marbles that are sentient and do not much like you.
Poll
