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[FiahOwl]

The Issue

After several complaints of the tripping hazards presented by sleeping bags on the doorsteps of public buildings, the citizens of Aeridani have brought the problem of homelessness to your attention.

The Debate

"To be honest, I'd just like a place to stay," says a scruffy man who's been living under your desk. "Somewhere I don't have some landlord breathing down my neck all the time. If the government could see fit to build some kind of free hostel where people could go if they've fallen on hard times, well, that'd be just great."


"You can't possibly think that's a good permanent solution!" cries Elizabeth Chicago, co-ordinator of the local soup kitchen. "What these people need is help to get their lives back on track. Yes, they have the right to a place to live, but they also need an honest job to pay for it. They need to be encouraged to work to become integrated into society again! Force our major businesses to create some basic jobs for these poor souls, and soon they will become pillars of the community!"


"And who do you suppose pays for all this?" snaps Roxanne Laine, one of your advisors. "Your loyal taxpayers, that's who! People who actually work for the things they have! And let's face it: these vagrants bring it on themselves - frittering their money away on rubbish and rollicking in unemployment while the rest of the world slaves away to make ends meet. They're worthless scum and they gave up their 'rights' a long time ago. I say we leave them to their misery until they become a nuisance, then have them dealt with like any other criminal."


"As far as I can see, homeless people are already a nuisance," says Beth Plath, a proud citizen. "They're mostly thieves and drug addicts, they make the streets a dangerous place for our children, they make honest people feel guilty for turfing them off their doorsteps and, frankly, they smell bad. They're vermin, plain and simple, and as such I suggest they be destroyed before the infestation gets even more out of hand."

[FiahOwl]

Civil Rights:
Excellent   Economy:
Good   Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

[FiahOwl]

A vast monorail network carries people all over the country, major cities shut down as their local sports team takes to the field every day, Aeridani has been recently classified as an international menace after 'liberating' several nearby territories, and criminals are executed and their property seized. Crime -- especially youth-related -- is a problem. Aeridani's national animal is the Tabby Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the New Dollar.

[Bla]

The Issue

An old supporter of yours has recently passed on, leaving a quite sizeable plot of land to you in his will - but only under a rather unusual condition: that the site be developed into a colosseum for hosting gladiatorial fights and other bloody spectacles.

The Debate

1: "Yes, yes!" cries Colin Laine, waving a wooden sword enthusiastically. "You've gotta do this, man! Gladiator fights are like the ultimate in spectator sports! And it doesn't just have to be people! We could pit man against African Grey Parrot! Blade against claw! Nothing to their names but their wits and their stamina! You'd have to pay people a lot to risk their lives doing this but I bet you'd earn a whole lot more from merchandise and wagers and stuff!"

2: "That's just sick," says Finlay Parrot, president of the Kill Violence Now Association. "I don't believe you'd find anyone willing to watch actual people tearing each other apart. It's savage and horrible! It's even worse than boxing! Violent sports should be outlawed for the sake of this country's moral integrity. I'm sorry, I've got to go - I'm ashamed you're even considering this."

3: "Actually, we could use this to our advantage," whispers Chief of Police, Thomas King. "Why not just force convicted criminals to fight for the amusement of the public? They'll be paying for their crimes, contributing to society, and totally freeing us of having to build jails to throw their useless hides in!"

[atomic7732]

What did you expect?

Well I'm sorry! New Unicornia was Psychotic before!

[bong]

The Issue

A particularly bad spate of bombings, hijackings and snake attacks aboard airline flights has crippled the air travel industry in Bongatar. The government has convened to discuss possible ways of improving airport security.

The Debate

"It's a no-brainer," says Mia Pushkin, frisking you as you enter the meeting. "Put police officers on every flight, armed and ready to deal with those blasted sky pirates! It's deterrence and protection wrapped up in one. If anyone so much as says the word 'bomb' they'd better watch out!"


"You want to put people with GUNS on aeroplanes?!" asks Falala Woolf, a security guard at Colin Steele International Airport. "And at the taxpayers' expense to boot? For the love of Violet, keep the police out of this! Airport security should remain in private hands! Think realistically for a moment: government priorities change all the time but companies are in it for profit. Bombings are BAD for business! We don't LET them happen! So just... butt out will you? I'm not losing my job to a flatfoot!"


"We don't need no copper protectin' us! We can look after our own hides!" laughs Tobias Wong, president of the Bongatar City Rifle and Revolver Association. "Air flight passengers should be allowed to carry concealed weapons. If one of them terrorists thinks he's gonna walk all over Bongatar like he owns the place then he's got another thing coming, ha!"


"I only wanted to tour The North Pacific for a few w-weeks," wails Jennifer Falopian, recovering from a particularly vigorous strip search. "I have a right not to be probed and prodded at the whim of some wand-waving monkey with a high school education! For a whole HOUR I might add! They treat us like cattle! In the name of DECENCY, I request, nay DEMAND an end to the disgrace that is airport security! I mean, really, it's like they don't trust me or something!"


"Let's just ban all planes!" shouts Lara Spirit, prodding you angrily in the chest. "Bombings and terrorist attacks aren't the only problems these things cause! The aeroplane is one of the worst pollutants mankind has ever created! They're loud, they're ugly, and they burn fuel like there's no tomorrow! There are more environment-friendly ways to travel than by plane even if they are slower! Much slower. But cleaner!"

Hmmm, which seems to be the best?

[FiahOwl]

All of them are bad.

Dismiss.

[mudkipz]

no kill them all

[atomic7732]

"Can't trust the government to do anything right," scolds economic analyst William Spirit, glancing up from a worn copy of The Fountainhead. ''We've given it a fair chance, it's failed, and now the private sector will have to swoop in to fix it. If you privatize the legislature, I can assure you it'll be humming efficiently and in the black by this time next year!''

(Solea and Rift Auspikitan decision)

... no. You did not just say that.


"The affirmative action programs aren't necessary at all," rejoins conservative speaker and hair care product salesman Freddy Pegasi. "If you really want to treat everyone equally, as you claim, how can you support special treatment for a few so-called minority groups? Besides, it would cost even more money to enforce."

(New Pegasopolis decision)

What... ? How?!?!

[FiahOwl]

22 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, citizens applying for their first jobs face fierce competition from the homeless.

[smjjames]

91 minutes ago: Following new legislation in Kaeshar, the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas.

I should note that this is mining for uranium Although there aren't any specific details about the mining industry in the game, like what ores and all.

And no my nuclear program is peaceful

[Bla]

And no my nuclear program is peaceful

We can quickly change that by placing 500 hydrogen stealth bombers on your borders, I think!

Also, kol.

The Issue

Citizens staged a mass protest against 'monolithic' tax rates after the government recently instituted the 'Anything That's Purple' tax.

The Debate

1: "The tax situation in Blaist Blaland is ridiculous," says Jack Blanaxon at the protest. "The taxes keep getting piled on and yet - I haste to add - the government doesn't seem to realise that they already have practically all our money! We've been reduced to bartering for goodness sake! I haven't seen a decent wad of Property Note in years! It's bad for Blaist Blaland, but more importantly, it's bad for business. We must take huge cuts out of the government budget. Even if it does mean less education, healthcare, and whatnot."

2: "You can't!" cries Lars Mombota, the National Treasurer. "They don't seem to realise that if we cut taxes, it will drastically underfund our public services! All our environmental work, our education system, our healthcare system - all will go kaput! Blaist Blaland depends on these taxes, we need the money! Don't let the people fritter it away on luxuries, 'cos they'll soon be complaining about there not being enough policemen on the beat. We'll tax the shirts off their backs and they'll be damn well happy about it!"

WHAT?! Someone saw a PROPERTY NOTE?!?! Where?! FIND AND BURN IT!!!

[smjjames]

And no my nuclear program is peaceful

We can quickly change that by placing 500 hydrogen stealth bombers on your borders, I think!

Yea it was a side joke (hence the smiley) and a reference to Iran. Haven't had any issues that referenced nuclear stuff in any way, besides the mining one which referenced a large uranium deposit.

Economy needs to get going anyway....

[Darvince]

You want to be kapitalist?
The kommunist and soshalist nashions have lower economy.

[FiahOwl]

You want to be kapitalist?
The kommunist and soshalist nashions have lower economy.

Kol.

[smjjames]

You have had time to develop your industries, I haven't yet, which is the logic I'm going for.

Not really sure whether I want to be capitalist, socialist, communist, or what yet.

[Naru523]

"This is a very important step to securing the rights and lives of our families and controlling the government," urges noted gun ownership proponent Zeke Obama. "Not only would it significantly decrease crime, but it would also effectively stop government tyranny in its tracks. Of course, this also means that every wacko and their cousin will have a gun, but don't worry, you'll have a gun to defend yourself from them, so it will all work out."

"What have those poor, defenceless animals ever done to us?" asks Akira Cho, owner of the East Mojang AB Creeper Sanctuary. "Kidnapping these helpless creatures from their habitat simply to stick probes and needles in them is just barbaric! How would you like it if someone caged you in a lab and conducted tests on you just to find out whether a new product was fit for sale? Experimenting on animals ought to be banned!"

[atomic7732]

Quote on the Equestria region board from The Lunar Republic of Karditan:

"I'm in the top 10% of the world, but not the region.

You crazy militarist ponies."

[Bla]

Kol.

Another brother.

The Issue

State department officials are in an uproar over the leaking of key government cables by the website WikiSpills. The site's owner, under the nom de plume "El Denunciante," is operating from an anonymous location in neighboring Bigtopia, where the government can't reach him. Blaist Blaland's leaders are sharply divided on how to respond.

The Debate

1: "This man has done no wrong!" says Pip Broadside, who also happens to be the head writer of The Blanaxon Times Magazine. "The people have a right to transparency of government. El Denunciante is a hero who has revolutionized my magazine sale-er-Freedom of Speech for this country. No state action must be committed that would infringe upon our right to disclose government information, regardless of the effects on diplomatic relations. Besides, it isn't as though you've got anything to hide…do you?"

2: "El Denunciante is a terrorist and has committed treason," argues reactionary talk radio host Thomas Harishchandra. "The fact is, he has consistently presented an anti-Blaist Blaland agenda, and people like him need to be stopped from propagandizing their filth. What we need is to block this website and any others which threaten the security of this great nation. Like those opposition party blogs that keep popping up! I mean, what use is personal freedom if you don't have security and peace of mind?"

3: "This seems like a lot of needless work, if you ask me," says Bharatendu Property, your brother-in-law, while enjoying a foul-smelling beverage in your office. "Why should the people get to discuss you and your government anyway? Seems to me things would be much easier if you just told them what their opinion was and blocked out all others. After all, who knows what's best for them better than you, am I right? Cheers!"

Btw,
6 hours ago: Following new legislation in Blaist Blaland, the sound of wooden legs echo throughout Blaist Blaland after the recent introduction of the Foot Tax.

[bong]

The Issue

During the last Bongatar Athletics Championship, a massive controversy arose following the revelation that double gold medalist Atlanta Johnson possesses both male and female sexual organs, despite being entirely female in external appearance.

The Debate

"How is this difficult to understand?" questions well-known sports commentator Jamil Yeats. "There are sports and competitions just for men, and there are sports and competitions just for women; we don't let men run in a women's race, so what's the difference here? And if it's too difficult to decide whether the athlete is a man or woman, then we shouldn't let them compete at all! Fair is fair is fair."


"I think I see a solution to all this," says Pete du Pont, your Minister for Solutions, whilst solving the crossword in your morning newspaper. "We should overhaul the entire sport system in Bongatar so that people compete against each other based on skill, not gender. Sure, it might be expensive but it'd be worth it if we want everyone to be happy."


"We can't just stop there!" protests well-known LGBTQQIA activist Johann Tars. "We should completely overhaul Bongatar itself to make it less hostile to those like Ms. Johnson! Schools, hospitals, workplaces – they'll all need to be changed! There should be public toilets catered solely for the intersex too! You can't put a price on equality!"


"You're not actually going to listen to that parasite, I hope?" your bald, heavily tattooed cousin says with a raised eyebrow. "You want to actually give these monsters recognition? Not only are they going to make us the laughing stock of the international community, but they, and other freaks like them, are an insult to our race. What we must do is banish such scum from Bongatar; their lesser blood and DNA are only an impediment to the success and dominance of our race – a master race!"

ohmy

[Bla]

your bald, heavily tattooed cousin

This says everything. Why are our entire family a bunch of fascists and nazis.

Here's another brother:

The Issue

In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.

The Debate

1: "Compulsory voting makes about as much sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide," says civil rights activist Stefanie Mistletoe. "You can't force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can't be bothered to get off their butts once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think."

2: "It's not contradictory at all," argues political commentator Prudence Chen. "The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn't truly representative. Some groups--like elderly gun nuts--vote more often than others. That's why we always end up with such terrible politicians."

3: "This raises an interesting issue," says Hope King, your brother. "And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn't that save everyone a lot of time?"

[FiahOwl]

The Issue

The fierce debate on Tabby Cat hunting in Aeridani has been brought to your attention after vociferous supporters of both sides of the argument stormed your parliament.
The Debate

    "Tabby Cat hunting is a cruel and horrible 'sport' for the wealthy," says Jean-Paul Winters of the 'Protect Anything Cute and Furry Society'. "How can you possibly justify it? Oh, they witter on about 'tradition' and 'pest control' and other such nonsense, but really we all know it's because these sadists love to torture poor, innocent animals! Hunting must be banned!"


    "Banning Tabby Cat hunting would be the end for centuries of tradition!" wails esteemed aristocrat Gregory al-Zahawi from atop his steed. "The thrill of the chase, the baying of the hounds, the Tabby Cat scooting through the undergrowth - it would be a travesty! We provide much needed stimulus to the local tourism, and you can't deny that Tabby Cats are pests - killing farmers' livestock for example! I propose that Tabby Cat hunting be encouraged, for the cultural - and economic - benefit of the nation!"


    "Well, you know what I think?" asks Hope Tabby, while helping to assemble a small trebuchet. "I reckon that the real issue about this sport is the cruelty aspect, and no-one can deny that sending a pack of dogs to tear apart a poor, innocent Tabby Cat is cruel. I reckon we should just ban hunting with hounds and only allow kinder and more instantly lethal methods like guns, tranquillisers, and cruise missiles."


    "I'm firmly against the slaughter of dumb animals," says Peggy Frederickson, while feeding an infant Tabby Cat with a milk bottle. "It would be best if the animals didn't die, and hunters could still do what they love to do - how about instead of shooting them or sending vicious canines after them, the hunter runs up to his quarry and gives it a symbolic 'tap' with his hand? Now isn't that much nicer for everyone?"

[smjjames]

The name of the third person is just so ironically funny, lol.

[atomic7732]

They freaking... aaaaaaa How... ??!?!?!?!

[smjjames]

They freaking... aaaaaaa How... ??!?!?!?!

I'm not sure if the names are random anyways.

Looks like most everybody's economy got knocked down a couple notches when that medical blockade repeal went through. Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

[FiahOwl]

23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas.
23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, conductors wield diamond-encrusted batons to fit in with their freshly gilded surroundings.
23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, anti-government web sites are springing up.
23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, main battle tanks stalk the woods of Aeridani in search of Tabby Cats.
23 hours ago: Following new legislation in Aeridani, shanty towns are forming in the suburbs of major cities.

HUNTING A MOTHERFUCKING CAT WITH A TANK??!!

[Naru523]

8 minutes ago: Following new legislation in Bielosia, citizens simply have to point a weapon at a government official to get what they want.

[atomic7732]

Second, awww yeah... Wait... what...

NARU!!!!!!!!!  



And then Darv in fifth.

[Naru523]

lmao

[smjjames]

Anybody else having issues with the NS site? The forums over there are okay though.